Monkey-mind

on

Having spent a LOT of my days on autopilot, only finding joy in the moment I slipped into bed, I often wondered when it would get better. When I would leap out of bed with a giant smile and find joy in every moment. When my mind wouldn’t be constantly scrolling down that goddamn, never-ending to-do list. Rather than being grateful for what I have, I find myself constantly on this wild goose chase for satisfaction. Then I stumbled on this article about mindfulness. Sure, I first thought it was some spiritual mumbo-jumbo, only to realise that its actually pretty straightforward.

It’s about focusing on the present, and being fully engaged in where we are as opposed to dreaming about the future or mourning the past. It’s that invisible string that pulls you back to the life you feel so disconnected from. It’s not as easy as it sounds, but its definitely doable. Just taking a few minutes to centre yourself as a practise can make this your template for the future.

Imagine a life, where every single moment feels like it’s too good to be true?

Mindfulness tells you the answer isn’t lost somewhere in the Bahamas, but right in your head. You just have to find it.

All this reading made me realise how much I want that in my life, how I want to get out of this rut of self-destruction and make the most of what I have. Sitting atop the long list of things that distract me from living in the moment is my most prized possession, my phone. Hence, I am starting this journey to imbibing mindfulness with a few hours away from that gadget. Day one saw jittery hands and forced efforts to stay way, but I think it gets easier. If you’ll have any tips to practising mindfulness do let me know!

As per usual, all these thoughts were poured into this short, structure-less verse – that is similar to my current state of mind. Here’s hoping I can tame the madness and slowly, eventually be more mindful of every moment.

All I desire,
a second of solitude,
a sliver of silence,
when the air,
gushing in
and out of my lungs
pushing my diaphragm,
is louder,
than the clamor,
between my ears,
To unwind,
turn back the clock,
To hush the spasm,
Beneath my eyelids,
And the double-jointed,
contortionist in my Gray.
When missed moments,
and pilfered promises,
don't wrack my bones,
and swindle,
the artfully constructed,
tower of sanity,
when a single word,
from your lush lips,
doesn't see pillage,
A lost game of Jenga,
you pull out one piece,
and I come crashing down,
every. single. time.

Have you ever felt this way? Share your thoughts on ‘mindfulness’ in the comments below!

15 Comments Add yours

  1. I agree that it is so important to be able to live in and appreciate the present moment more often, however it can be very hard to train yourself to do that.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Shruti says:

      That’s so true! But it’s so important to try

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Karthigeyan says:

    Very nicely written. I have been practicing for the past 6 months, to achieve distraction-free work. What seems to be particularly helpful is maintain a day to day schedule and have a appreciation based system. If I completed a task, I rewarded myself with something I would have wanted then. Living the moment, that’s what we should train ourselves into. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Shruti says:

      Haha this is a good system, I’ve been operating with a strict schedule too. But I find that six months later I’m loosing the juice to keep it sustained!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Karthigeyan says:

        Increase the amount of awards :p
        Keep striving.

        Like

  3. Harsh says:

    I agree. Focus on the present. May be take one day at a time.

    And the last two lines of the verse… So amazing!! I can really feel it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Shruti says:

      Yes! But it’s so hard to enforce in your life especially when stuck at home. Thank you so much!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I love your perspective on mindfulness and really think that everyone should practice it. Sounds like the key to a laid back and happy life! I really like your “short, structure less verse,” it did justice to the emotions and feeling. Love the ending! Great job. ✨

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Shruti says:

      It is the key, but honestly it’s harder than it sounds since we’re worried to overthink! But thank you, means a lot coming from a seasoned poet like you:)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ahh yes, overthinking and overanalyzing is an innate mechanism so many of us were born with. Overcoming it is a true struggle. Thank you so much but I’d hardly call myself seasoned. You write beautifully, by the way! 🌹

        Like

  5. TasView says:

    Lovely post. I drive 5 hours every day and need to stay focused. When I become aware that my mind is wandering on other thoughts, I tell myself to focus, relax, and breath. Then I take 4 or more slow deep breaths and clear my mind. Make that a habit and soon your mind will wander less … but it will still try to sneak away on you sometimes.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Shruti says:

      Wow that’s a lot! That’s great advice, thank you:)

      Liked by 1 person

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