When I cut open his chest

I still remember,
That pungent odour,
As I slit his throat,
In one clean stroke.
My knife moved,
Across his parched skin,
From the dip below his chin,
To the hollow in his stomach.
As I reached in,
And grabbed his heart,
Quelled by infarct,
Couldn’t help but wonder
About words unsaid,
Paths untread,
Moments of joy and fear,
Tortuous grief,
Bizarre beliefs,
If he cried,
As the end neared,
Cushioned in my palm,
A man’s existence,
Devoid of soul,
Never to be whole.
.
.
.
A loud bell clanged,
Snapped out of my reverie,
An ephemeral memory,
Anatomy Class is over,
Time for lunch.

One of the first, most vivid memories I have of medical school is the Anatomy Lab. Hidden in a corner of the ground floor, it was home to many firsts for me and my friends. The first body, first incision, first suture, first skull, first brain… But the day that left the starkest impact on me was the day we excised the heart and learnt about it. There was something so macabre yet fascinating about that moment that I will never forget the ten of us huddled around that one man’s heart. I remember mulling over who he might have been before he ended up on our table, his joys, fears and sins. It was such a visceral, immersive experience. The smell of formalin lingering in the air that was a sensory assault unlike any other. The excitement we felt on the day we first marvelled at the complexity of the human body. The palpable fear when we were asked to isolate one specific nerve from millions. It is a thrill unlike any other, an experience that is just ours, one where you ponder about the mysteries of life while standing across a man’s heart, and then when the bell rings you’re jolted into reality. Something as mundane as lunch! Following that year, we only saw live patients (thank god!) but the memories of the anatomy lab are richly imprinted in my brain.

For this piece, I tried to play with some vivid imagery and dark humour and wanted to draw on the contrast of being so immersed in this strange experience for one moment and then just living a normal life like anyone else the next!

Hope you enjoyed this, have a great day!